Diary of a genetically unmodified traveller: 'Smile, you're on candid camera!'

What is it about the camera that either irritates or is pandered to? Half of the world spends its time trying to get into the spotlight, and the other, more famous portion spend their time trying to avoid it or else suing for damages when they can’t.

On holidays, the camera is one of the most useful things to take along, after a bucket and spade, sticking plaster, a tube of Germolene, tablets for the squits and sticking plaster (I mentioned that twice, didn’t I?)

A roll of film is handy too, but, since the advent of the digital camera, film gets in the way. You can’t delete film – you take a photo in Blackpool in July and see it the following April when you get around to getting it developed.

With a digital camera, on the other hand, there is no film - no waiting – instant gratification or instant mortification. In the event of the latter, you can always delete, which I guess I should have done with this photo – or so one of us in the family opines.